Zac and Vanessa Are Not Troy And Gabriella

Occasionally I catch E! and Inside Edition late at night. And as I watch the many celebrities paraded across the screen and hear all the speculations about their lives, relationships, breakups, divorces, sexual orientation, and spending habits it makes me glad that Zac and Vanessa are seldom included in these reports. Something about such monolithic exposure cheapens an actor and lowers him/her to the status of celebrity—someone famous for being famous.

Zac and Vanessa have both said many times that they don’t want to be celebrities or have fans focus on their personal relationship. They want to be recognized for their work.

I realize that as a couple they are charismatic, irresistible, sweet, sexy, charming, adorable, cute, funny, one-of-a-kind, and a whole bunch of other adjectives. . . . And many a young girl who is still a few years away from dating wants a boyfriend exactly like Troy. Um . . . I mean exactly like Zac Efron.

But, from the apprehensive and naïve speculation many of these young girls make about Zac and Vanessa’s relationship, it is clear that they are not yet aware of what a real relationship is. These fans clamor for Zac and Vanessa to be in the public eye. Some even go so far as to e-mail paparazzi and beg them to hunt down the couple and get candids of them. Why? To satisfy something missing in their own lives? Possibly a fairy-tale relationship they want and can never have.

And it’s apparent from the worried, agonizing, fearful, dread-filled comments posted on blogs that some young fans want Zac and Vanessa to be their on-screen characters—Troy and Gabriella—trapped in that initial stage of romance forever. And to the disappointment of these young fans, Zac and Vanessa are NOT behaving like their “love struck” on-screen characters. If the couple is not caught holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes as they dodge the paparazzi, these innocents believe something is dreadfully wrong with the relationship. They had a fight. They broke up.

Naïve young fans start enlarging pictures, pouring over every detail, searching for some indication that Zac and Vanessa are truly in LOVE. They spend endless hours online, worrying about Zac and Vanessa’s bond, browsing the Web for pictures of them showing affection. Begging and pleading for daily news and pictures of them together. Profusely thanking God when a few do surface of them with arms around each other.

What these young fans don’t yet understand is that no real couple stays in the initial stage of romance forever. Especially after being together for over three years. So, to ease the hearts and minds of youthful devotees about the relationship between Zac and Vanessa, below are the five stages that a couple goes through:

1. Initial Stage (Romance)

This is when two people have just come together. At this point, both of them see the world through rose-colored glasses. They love everything about each other. Even the most irritating habits seem nice. He/she seems the perfect person and cannot do anything wrong. The whole world revolves around the partner and they hardly have time for anyone else. Not even their best friend seems important at the moment. As the effects of the first stage wear off, they shift to the next stage.

2. Eye-opener Stage (Reality)

After about a year together, the partner does not seem so perfect after all. Gradually, the negative aspects of each other’s personality begin to surface. Both start behaving more like themselves and the “best behavior at all times” thing goes down the drain. Now, even though they still love each other, they don’t spend all their time together. In fact, they now feel the need for space and freedom, the need to spend time with other people in their lives, including family and friends. This is the most crucial phase of a relationship, which can either lead to a strong and mature relationship or a break up.

3. Stability Stage (Maturity)

If they successfully pass the “eye-opener stage”, the road ahead will become much smoother. In this stability stage, both partners realize that their “better half” is a normal person, with positive as well as negative aspects. The idea of perfection dissolves. Acceptance and respect for each other gains ground. The partners start thinking realistically and realize that adjustment (give and take) is the key to a successful relationship.

4. Commitment Stage (Totally Practical)

If a couple manages to maintain the maturity stage for a considerable time (about two years), commitment is the most obvious result. By this time, they have accepted each other without trying to change the other. Both support and complement each other. Minor tiffs are usual and in fact, necessary for keeping the spice in the relationship alive. However, the “let’s break up,” and “you don’t care for me” slogans that young kids predict and anticipate are not part of the relationship. This is the time when they are comfortable with each other. They have formed a deep friendship and love each other for who they actually are and not for what they think they are.

5. Marriage Stage (Romance once again)

Successful relationships usually end in marriage. The partners have gone through all the ups and downs and no longer live in the world of fairytale or bookish romance. They know that life is not picture-perfect and find love and enjoyment in each other’s company. Marriage brings about the phase of honeymoon and all the romance of the first stage comes back again. The only difference is that this time the partners are mature and the rose-colored glasses have come off. Though there might be slight problems because of the added responsibilities of living together 24X7, none will be too big to handle. It’s the time to enjoy the results of the efforts both have taken to bring the relationship to this stage.

So, when you see pictures of Zac and Vanessa out and about or at events, keep these stages in mind. And remember they are real people. They are not stuck in that initial first stage of love the way Troy and Gabriella are immortalized on screen in the High School Musical movies.